i remember until i was ten, i spelt ‘satin’ like ‘satan’ and i went to a christian school and they called my parents because i wrote ‘satan is soft like a bunny’ and they wanted the priest to talk to me
Satan is glad you appreciate the effort.
Satan uses Garnier Fructis to lock in moisture.
I JUST LOST MY SHIT
"Go for someone who is proud to have you."
tbh if a hot guy ever calls me babe he’s probly gettin his dick sucked
i dont think my friends understand. when i say my room is messy i dont mean “cute” messy where i have a jacket hanging here and there i mean messy as in fuckin trash island where garbage citizens hold elections over who will become the next trash overlord it’s fuckin gross
"Maybe a relationship is just two idiots who don’t know a damn thing except the fact that they’re willing to figure it out together."
Having your best friend totally convinced you got a job as a stripper: Priceless